In this insightful episode of the Passion Struck podcast, host John R. Miles is joined by Dr. Nicole LePera, a #1 New York Times bestselling author and pioneer in holistic psychology. Dr. LePera brings a revolutionary approach to understanding and nurturing our most vital familial, romantic, and platonic connections. She discusses the innate human need for connection and how our nervous systems, shaped by past traumas, often conflict with our desire for compassionate relationships.
Dr. LePera challenges the traditional notion of compromise in relationships, advocating for a path to healing that begins within ourselves. Her book “How to Be the Love You Seek” offers a holistic approach to recognizing unmet needs, developing emotional resilience, and cultivating meaningful connections. This episode is a deep dive into transforming our relationships by first addressing our relationship with ourselves, providing practical tools and insights for anyone seeking to break cycles of pain and build a life of peace and fulfillment.
Want to learn the 12 philosophies that the most successful people use to create a limitless life? Pre-order John R. Milesโs new book, Passion Struck, which will be released on February 6, 2024.
And in case you didnโt already know it, John R. Miles (@John_R_Miles) takes your comments and questions for Momentum Friday right here every week! If you want him to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Momentum Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now, letโs dive in!
I’ve learned we can’t be of true service to other people unless there is space for our own needs to be consistently met.
Dr. Nicole LePera
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podcast Addict, Pocket Casts, Stitcher, Castbox, Google Podcasts, Listen Notes, Amazon Music, or on your favorite podcast platform. You can watch the interview on YouTube below.
Inner Healing for Outer Connections: Dr. Nicole LePeraโs Revolutionary Approach
In this episode of Passion Struck, host John R. Miles interviews Dr. Nicole LePera about her new book, “How to Be the Love You Seek.” Dr. LePera discusses the concept of self-love and how it goes beyond just positive feelings about oneself. She emphasizes the importance of being present in all aspects of ourselves, both positive and negative. Dr. LePera also explains the concept of holistic psychology, which considers the mind, body, and emotions in understanding and addressing psychological issues.
The conversation then delves into the influence of early childhood experiences on our relationships. Dr. LePera shares her own journey of realizing her emotional disconnect in her marriage and how she started opening up to strangers about her feelings and relationship dynamics. She highlights the role of subconscious decision-making in relationships and the need to become aware of our own patterns and beliefs. Dr. LePera also explores the concepts of ego story and empowerment consciousness.
The ego story refers to our core beliefs about ourselves, such as unworthiness, which can impact our adult relationships. On the other hand, empowerment consciousness involves becoming conscious of our thoughts, emotions, and physiological responses and making empowered choices in our relationships. Overall, this episode provides valuable insights and practical advice for individuals seeking to improve their relationships and cultivate self-love. Dr. LePera’s book, “How to Be the Love You Seek,” offers a comprehensive guide for breaking cycles of pain, finding peace, and healing relationships.
Key Takeaways:
- Self-love is more than just positive feelings about oneself. It involves being present to all aspects of oneself, both positive and negative.
- Holistic psychology takes into account not just the mind but also the body and its physiological responses. It recognizes the importance of addressing subconscious habits and patterns for lasting change.
- Relationships are deeply influenced by our earliest experiences and the patterns we developed in response to them. Becoming aware of these patterns can help us understand our emotional disconnect in relationships.
- The ego story we develop in childhood, such as feeling unworthy or not considered, can shape our adult relationships. Recognizing these stories and their influence can help us shift to an empowerment consciousness.
- Empowerment consciousness involves being present in our thoughts, emotions, and physiological responses. It allows us to regulate our reactions and make conscious relationship choices.
- Self-love is essential for emotional availability in relationships. It requires accepting and being present in all aspects of ourselves, including our emotions and needs.
- Awareness of our subconscious decision-making processes in relationships can help us break cycles and create healthier dynamics.
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More From Dr. Nicole LePera About Becoming Conscious of Conditioned Patterns
Dr. Nicole LePera and John R. Miles explore how our day-to-day lives are influenced by the patterns and imprints we developed in our early childhood. These patterns shape how we care for ourselves physically and emotionally and how we interact with others. The host suggests that many of us may not be fully connected to our bodies or in control of our emotions, and instead, we may suppress or ignore them. Additionally, we may not be showing up as our true selves in relationships but rather as a conditioned version of ourselves based on past experiences.
To initiate change and break these conditioned patterns, the first step is to become conscious of them. This involves observing our habits and patterns and recognizing how they influence our lives. We can make new choices and create healthier relationship dynamics by becoming aware of these patterns.
One aspect of making new choices involves reconnecting with our bodies and tending to their physical needs. This includes providing proper nutrition, engaging in movement, getting enough rest, and practicing calming and grounding techniques. By caring for our physical bodies, we can become more responsive to our emotional needs.
Attuning to our emotions is another crucial aspect of breaking conditioned patterns. Instead of suppressing or ignoring our emotions, we are encouraged to express them and share them with others. This can help us build stronger connections and receive support from those around us. By expressing our emotions authentically, we can also learn to be our true selves in relationships, rather than relying on conditioned behaviors.
Dr. LePera acknowledges that breaking conditioned patterns can be challenging and may require significant introspection and self-reflection. It shares the personal experience of the host, who also struggled with hiding behind a mask of achievement. Despite reaching high levels of success, they felt a profound sense of emptiness and disconnection from their true selves. This realization led them to seek help from a career coach and therapist, who helped them recognize the importance of addressing all aspects of their well-being, including their emotions, physical health, mental health, spiritual health, and relationship well-being.
The host and the guest agree that many individuals may find themselves in a similar scenario, feeling stuck and disconnected from their true selves. The analogy of a stool with one pillar representing the constant pursuit of success illustrates the imbalance and neglect of other important aspects of life. The podcast emphasizes the need to address these neglected areas to create a more fulfilling and balanced life.
In conclusion, Dr. Nicole LePera highlights the significance of becoming conscious of conditioned patterns to break free from dysfunctional behaviors and create healthier relationships. It emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, self-care, and self-expression in cultivating authentic connections and finding fulfillment. By addressing all aspects of our well-being, we can embark on a transformative journey toward peace, healing, and love.
Thanks, Dr. Nicole LePera
If you enjoyed this interview with Dr. Nicole LePera, let her know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout on Instagram:
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If you want us to answer your questions or you have a topic you would like John to discuss on one of our upcoming weekly Momentum Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected].
Resources From The Show With Dr. Nicole LePera
Please note that some of the links on this page (books, movies, music, etc.) lead to affiliate programs for which The Passion Struck podcast receives compensation. Itโs just one of the ways we keep the lights on around here. Thank you so much for being so supportive!
- Website: https://theholisticpsychologist.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/?hl=en
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/the.holistic.psychologist/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/Theholisticpsyc
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theholisticpsychologist/
- Buy Dr. Nicole LePera’s Book โBe The Love You Seekโ:ย https://amzn.to/3GjQh2k
- Passion Struck Core Value System: https://passionstruck.com/the-passion-struck-core-belief-system/
- Listen to Passion Struckโs interviews with New York Times bestselling authors Gretchen Rubin and Seth Godin.
- Check out Passion Struckโs Episode Starter Packs on Spotify or Passion Struck starter packs to get started with the podcast.
- Want to learn the 12 philosophies that the most successful people use to create a limitless life? Pre-order John R. Milesโs new book, Passion Struck, which will be released on February 6, 2024.
My solo episode on Rise Above: 7 Ways To Break Free From The Savior Complex: https://passionstruck.com/rise-above-7-ways-to-break-the-savior-complex/
Watch my interview with Amy Morin On How You Become A Mentally Strong Couple: https://passionstruck.com/amy-morin-how-to-become-a-mentally-strong-couple/
Catch my interview with Arthur Brooks On The 4 Ways To Build The Life You Want: https://passionstruck.com/arthur-brooks-4-ways-to-build-the-life-you-want/
My solo episode on The 6 Key Steps To Bold Risk-Taking For Personal Growth: https://passionstruck.com/6-key-steps-to-bold-risk-taking/
About Todayโs Guest, Dr. Nicole LePera
Dr. Nicole LePera was trained in clinical psychology at Cornell University and the New School for Social Research. She also studied at the Philadelphia School of Psychoanalysis.
As a clinical psychologist in private practice, Dr. Nicole LePera often found herself frustrated by the limitations of traditional psychotherapy. Wanting more for her patients and herself, she began a journey to develop a united philosophy of mental, physical, and spiritual health that equips people with the tools necessary to heal themselves. Nothing short of a paradigm shift, Dr. Nicole LePeraโs teachings empower the
individual to break free from trauma cycles and create who they want to become.
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* Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMilesโ
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