Michelle Chalfant on Are You Living From Your Adult Chair?

In this powerful episode of Passion Struck, John R. Miles sits down with renowned therapist, podcast host, and author Michelle Chalfant to explore the transformational framework at the heart of her groundbreaking book, The Adult Chair: Get Unstuck, Claim Your Power, and Transform Your Life. With over two decades of experience guiding people through emotional healing, Michelle introduces us to the three “chairs” we all unconsciously operate from—the Child, the Adolescent, and the Adult—and reveals how most of us are living from the wounded parts of ourselves without even realizing it.

Together, John and Michelle uncover why self-sabotage, people-pleasing, emotional reactivity, and chronic anxiety stem from this misalignment—and how reclaiming your Adult Chair can help you step into a life of clarity, confidence, and deep inner peace. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep repeating patterns that no longer serve you, or how to finally feel grounded and empowered, this episode is your invitation to transform from the inside out.

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How the Adult Chair Model Unlocks Emotional Clarity and Personal Power

In this episode, John R. Miles and Michelle Chalfant dive into the psychology behind how we unconsciously operate from different parts of ourselves—often stuck in outdated emotional patterns formed in childhood or adolescence. Michelle breaks down her popular “Adult Chair” model to explain how many of us live from wounded parts of the self, making decisions rooted in fear, shame, or a desire for approval.

From parenting and relationships to career choices and self-worth, this conversation reveals how understanding your internal dynamics can lead to emotional regulation, healthy boundaries, and deeply fulfilling connections. The discussion also explores how to identify emotional triggers, overcome avoidance and self-sabotage, and use intentionality to anchor yourself in your most empowered self.

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

• Understand the Three Chairs – Learn how the Child, Adolescent, and Adult chairs each represent distinct emotional states and how they impact your decisions.
• Spot Emotional Triggers – Discover how your nervous system signals misalignment and how to catch self-sabotage before it spirals.
• Break the Mask of Pretending – Understand how high-functioning adults often hide behind a façade—and how to drop it.
• Cultivate Emotional Safety – Explore the link between internal validation, boundaries, and self-regulation.
• Parenting from Wholeness – Hear why parents must heal themselves before they can help their children feel like they matter.
• Use Intention as a Compass – Learn why setting daily intentions is a powerful way to shift from reactive to purposeful living.

WHY IS THIS EPISODE A MUST-LISTEN?

This episode offers a rare and practical roadmap to emotional healing that doesn’t just rely on insight, but on embodiment, presence, and conscious action. Whether you’re navigating personal growth, relational challenges, or inner child work, Michelle Chalfant’s clear, compassionate framework makes deep transformation accessible. You’ll walk away with the tools to identify the parts of you that are holding you back—and the confidence to lead from the most grounded, powerful version of yourself.

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Understanding the 3 Chairs: A Simple Framework for Deep Emotional Healing

In The Adult Chair: Get Unstuck, Claim Your Power, and Transform Your Life, Michelle Chalfant introduces a deceptively simple but profoundly transformative concept: we are always operating from one of three internal “chairs”—the Child, the Adolescent, or the Adult. These aren’t roles we play but emotional states we unconsciously shift between, each rooted in different levels of awareness and maturity.

The Child Chair holds our core emotions, needs, vulnerability, and early wounds. When we live from this place, we might feel anxious, unseen, or constantly in need of validation. The Adolescent Chair, on the other hand, is where our ego and defense mechanisms take over—people-pleasing, controlling, numbing, or overachieving in order to stay “safe” and accepted. And then there’s the Adult Chair—the place of presence, clarity, truth, and compassion. It’s where emotional regulation happens. Boundaries are clear. Decisions align with values. It’s where we feel most like ourselves.

The power of Michelle’s model is that it gives language to what we so often feel but can’t articulate. It offers a mirror to recognize when we’re reacting from a wounded part of ourselves—and a map to return to emotional balance. In a world full of reactivity and noise, learning to sit in your Adult Chair may be the most radical act of healing you can choose.

Thanks, Michelle Chalfant

If you enjoyed this interview with Michelle Chalfant, let her know by clicking on this link and sending her a quick shout on Instagram

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RESOURCES FROM THE SHOW WITH MICHELLE CHALFANT

Please note that some of the links on this page (books, movies, music, etc.) lead to affiliate programs for which The Passion Struck podcast receives compensation. It’s just one of the ways we keep the lights on around here. Thank you so much for being so supportive!

1. Michelle Chalfant’s Website
2. Michelle Chalfant’s Instagram
3. Michelle Chalfant’s LinkedIn
4. Buy Michelle Chalfant’s Book ‘The Adult Chair’
5. APA’s recognition of mattering as critical to child mental health
6. Passion Struck Core Value System: https://passionstruck.com/the-passion-struck-core-belief-system/
7. Listen to Passion Struck’s interviews with New York Times bestselling authors Gretchen Rubin and Seth Godin.
8. Check out Passion Struck’s Episode Starter Packs on Spotify or Passion Struck starter packs to get started with the podcast.

About Today’s Guest, Michelle Chalfant

Michelle Chalfant is a licensed therapist, holistic life coach, author, and creator of The Adult Chair® model—a transformative framework for understanding and navigating emotions, healing past trauma, and cultivating emotional maturity. With over 25 years of clinical and coaching experience, Michelle has helped thousands of people break free from self-sabotaging patterns, anxiety, codependency, and emotional reactivity by teaching them how to access their true inner power.

She is the host of The Adult Chair® Podcast, a top-ranked mental health and personal growth show, where she offers practical tools and compassionate insights to help listeners live with greater awareness, authenticity, and alignment. Michelle’s mission is to simplify complex psychological concepts into accessible, actionable strategies for real, lasting change. Through her books, online courses, live events, and coaching certification program, she continues to empower individuals around the world to get unstuck, reclaim their worth, and live from the most grounded version of themselves.

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