What if everything you’ve been taught about success is a lie? A groundbreaking Harvard study spanning over 85 years has revealed a surprising truth—happiness and fulfillment aren’t found in wealth, fame, or achievement. Yet, so many of us fall into the endless cycle of chasing “more,” believing that the next milestone will finally bring contentment. This is the mirage of success and what this episode will tackle.
In this eye-opening episode, John R. Miles unpacks why more is never enough and how the relentless pursuit of success can leave us feeling empty. Join us as we break down the mirage of success and uncover what truly leads to a life of meaning.
If you’ve ever wondered why hope matters in overcoming personal and collective challenges, this episode will provide answers—and show you how to harness its power in your life and community.
Want to learn the 12 philosophies that the most successful people use to create a limitless life? Order John R. Miles’s new book, Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life.
And in case you didn’t already know it, John R. Miles (@John_R_Miles) takes your comments and questions for Momentum Friday right here every week! If you want him to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Momentum Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now, let’s dive in!
If you don’t stop and ask yourself, ‘What am I leaving behind to get where I’m going?’—you might wake up one day and realize you’ve been climbing the wrong mountain.”
John R. Miles
Breaking Free from the Mirage of Success
In the latest episode of the Passion Struck® podcast, titled “The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough,” host John R. Miles delves into the pervasive pursuit of external achievements and the often-overlooked internal void they leave behind. This episode challenges listeners to reflect on their definitions of success and consider the true sources of fulfillment in their lives.
Miles begins by illustrating the concept of a mirage—a deceptive appearance that lures individuals into believing in its reality. He compares this to the common human experience of chasing success, where individuals strive for promotions, higher salaries, and societal validation, believing these milestones will bring lasting fulfillment. However, much like a mirage in the desert, these achievements often leave individuals feeling unfulfilled upon attainment.
The Illusion of More
The episode delves into the societal conditioning that equates success with self-worth. From a young age, individuals are taught that good grades, prestigious schools, and high-paying jobs are the pathways to a meaningful life. This conditioning leads to a relentless pursuit of “more,” where the satisfaction from one achievement is fleeting, prompting the chase for the next. Miles emphasizes that this cycle is a trap, as the goalposts of success continually move, preventing true contentment.
Sharing a personal story, Miles recounts his decision to leave a fulfilling role at Lowe’s for a seemingly perfect opportunity at Dell. Despite the allure of a higher salary and greater prestige, the move resulted in a loss of community, strained family dynamics, and a profound sense of disconnection. This experience served as a pivotal lesson that external success, when pursued at the expense of meaningful relationships and personal well-being, leads to emptiness.
Key Takeaways from this episode about ‘The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough’:
- The hidden dangers of always wanting more – How the constant pursuit of success can lead to stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction.
- Why comparison is the thief of joy – The psychological reasons we fall into the comparison trap and how to break free.
- The power of redefining success – How to shift your mindset from external validation to internal fulfillment.
- How to escape the hedonic treadmill – Understanding why achievements quickly lose their impact and what to do instead.
- Practical steps to cultivate lasting happiness – Actionable strategies to focus on what truly matters.
Recognizing and Escaping the Mirage of Success
To help listeners identify if they are caught in the pursuit of a mirage, Miles poses reflective questions:
- Are you chasing what truly matters to you, or what society has conditioned you to believe matters?
- What are you sacrificing to achieve your current goals?
- Is your pursuit leading to genuine fulfillment or merely feeding your ego?
By honestly answering these questions, individuals can assess whether their pursuits align with their core values and contribute to their overall well-being.
Steps Toward Genuine Fulfillment
Miles offers practical steps to redirect focus from the mirage of success to what genuinely sustains:
- Identify Your Personal Mirage: Acknowledge the pursuits that drain rather than fulfill you.
- Reconnect with What Sustains You: Prioritize relationships and activities that provide intrinsic satisfaction.
- Redefine Success: Align your goals with your core values and focus on internal fulfillment rather than external validation.
Why Listen to This Episode About ‘The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough’
If you’ve ever felt like no matter how much you achieve, it’s never enough, this episode will help you understand why. John R. Miles unpacks the deep-rooted psychological and societal factors that drive this never-ending cycle and provides a roadmap for breaking free. Whether you’re a high achiever, an entrepreneur, or someone looking for more meaning in life, this episode offers a refreshing perspective on success and a guide to finding true fulfillment.
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Naomi and Moab: The Biblical Warning Against the Mirage of Success
Miles draws a parallel between the biblical narrative of Naomi’s journey to Moab and the modern pursuit of success. This story serves as a cautionary tale about seeking fulfillment in external achievements, only to find emptiness.
Naomi’s Journey to Moab
The Book of Ruth recounts the story of Naomi, who, along with her husband Elimelech and their two sons, leaves Bethlehem due to a severe famine. They relocate to Moab, a neighboring nation, in search of better prospects. Tragically, Elimelech dies shortly after their arrival. Naomi’s sons marry Moabite women, Orpah and Ruth, but after about a decade, both sons also pass away, leaving Naomi and her daughters-in-law in a vulnerable position.
The Illusion of Prosperity
Naomi’s decision to move to Moab symbolizes the human tendency to seek “more” in hopes of achieving security and prosperity. Moab appeared to offer abundance during a time of scarcity in Bethlehem. However, instead of finding the anticipated prosperity, Naomi encountered profound loss and grief. This mirrors the modern pursuit of success, where individuals chase external markers of achievement, believing they will lead to fulfillment, only to discover that these pursuits can result in unforeseen sacrifices and emotional voids.
The Return to Authentic Fulfillment
Recognizing the futility of her situation in Moab, Naomi decides to return to Bethlehem after hearing that the Lord had provided food for His people. She urges her daughters-in-law to remain in Moab and remarry, but Ruth’s steadfast loyalty leads her to accompany Naomi back to Bethlehem. Upon her return, Naomi, whose name means “pleasant,” asks to be called “Mara,” meaning “bitter,” reflecting her perception that the Almighty had dealt bitterly with her.
This return signifies a shift from seeking external solutions to embracing one’s roots and authentic sources of fulfillment. In contemporary terms, it suggests that true contentment is found not in relentless pursuits of success but in genuine connections, community, and alignment with one’s core values.
A Timeless Lesson
Naomi’s experience serves as a timeless lesson on the dangers of chasing illusory success. Her journey underscores the importance of evaluating the true cost of our pursuits and recognizing when the promise of “more” is merely a mirage. It encourages a return to what genuinely sustains us—meaningful relationships, community, and a sense of purpose.
In the podcast, John R. Miles uses Naomi’s story to illustrate that the quest for external success often leads to unexpected losses. He emphasizes the need to discern between fleeting illusions and lasting fulfillment, urging listeners to focus on what truly matters in life.
Recognizing the Signs of Chasing a Mirage
In our relentless pursuit of success, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that more—more money, more achievements, more possessions—will bring us lasting fulfillment. However, this endless chase often leads to disillusionment, revealing why more is never enough. The mirage of success tricks us into thinking that happiness lies just beyond our current grasp, only to move further away the closer we get.
So how do you recognize when you’re chasing a mirage rather than true fulfillment? Here are some key signs:
- You always feel like something is missing. No matter how much you achieve, there’s an underlying sense of dissatisfaction, as if the next milestone will finally make you feel complete.
- Success feels empty. You reach your goals but feel surprisingly unfulfilled, realizing that external accomplishments don’t bring the deep contentment you expected.
- Your self-worth is tied to achievement. Instead of valuing yourself for who you are, you only feel worthy when you’re accomplishing more. The pressure to keep proving yourself never ends.
- You constantly compare yourself to others. Instead of appreciating your journey, you measure your success against someone else’s, leading to an endless cycle of competition and self-doubt.
- You sacrifice your well-being for external validation. Whether it’s your health, relationships, or personal joy, you compromise essential aspects of life in pursuit of success that never truly satisfies.
Recognizing these signs is the first step toward breaking free from the mirage of success and shifting your focus toward what truly matters—purpose, meaning, and genuine fulfillment.
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Check My solo episode on Why We All Crave To Matter: Exploring The Power Of Mattering.
Can’t miss my episode with Arthur C. Brooks on Finding Success, Happiness, and Purpose
Listen to my interview with Robin Sharma on the 8 Forms of Wealth That Determine Success
My solo episode on Fading into Insignificance: The Impact of Un-Mattering in Our Interconnected Era
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About John R. Miles
John R. Miles is a transformative leader, blending military precision with entrepreneurial flair to ignite purpose and intentional living in millions. A former U.S. Navy officer and Fortune 50 executive, John transitioned from the C-suite to become an international bestselling author and host of the globally acclaimed Passion Struck® podcast, which has ranked as the #1 alternative health podcast in over 25 countries.
John writes about the science of behavior change, personal mastery, and purpose-driven leadership, drawing from his extensive research in neuroscience, and psychology, plus over 700 interviews with trailblazing experts. His book, Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life, has earned accolades including Best Business Book at the 2024 International Business Awards.
With a mission to inspire others to live with passion and intention, John’s quirky blend of deep insight and approachable wisdom makes him a sought-after voice in leadership and personal development.
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