Do you feel like your self-image is dependant on other people’s feelings and opinions about you and how they view your abilities, qualities, personality, and potential? Have you felt insecure about it? If so, you are not alone. opinions about you and how they view your abilities, qualities, personality, and potential? Have you felt insecure about it? If so, you are not alone. Many of us feel like we have deep insecurities and do not know how to overcome them.
According to a survey conducted by FITRATED, roughly 99 percent of the respondents knew the first time when they first felt insecure and how old they were; the average age was found to be 16 years old. The survey further showed that men were 35 percent more likely to feel insecure about their personalities and abilities than women, and women were 16.8 percent more likely to have felt insure about their bodies than men.
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“No one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. We must try to live as per our capability.”
Anil Sinha
Recent Finland research of 13-17-year-olds who experienced insecurity was classified into 16 categories, which were then divided under three headings: (i) the inner circle, that is, insecurity related to personal emotions and inner experiences; (ii) the social circle, that is, deep insecurities related to social interaction; and (iii) the outer circle, that is, deep insecurity related to external realities.
No matter how stable and prosperous your life is, there are times when feelings of deep insecurity can creep in these three ways. Examples of this could be
- Perhaps you are a person with an overly high sense of themselves who feels they need to jump in and add their points even when you are unfamiliar with the topic being discussed.
- You are with a group of people, and someone tells a joke. Everyone else is laughing, but you don’t get why it is funny and feel awkward.
- There is an important meeting at your workplace, and you felt like your opinion and idea on the topic wasn’t well received and disregarded for others’ views? You come out of it feeling overly critical about yourself and others.
- Or, you are in a relationship where you are dissatisfied but hope that things will improve or fear what will happen if the relationship ends.
Whatever it was, if you still feel like you are in its clutches, then insecurity is creeping in.
What is Insecurity, and What Are the Signs?
Insecurity is the feeling of uncertainty and doubts towards your abilities, qualities, values, personality, and self-worth. The thing that fascinates me the most about our deep insecurities is that it comes in all forms. It can be personal, social, with our family, or with our partner. It may include:
- A prevailing perception of inadequacy
- A personal struggle with self-assurance, self-confidence, and self-worth
- The inability to cope with stressors
- Uncertainty about the world and your place in it
- Relationship anxiety with others
We often get to see people clouding their insecurities with some prominent trait they develop so that others don’t find out about it. Like a person you meet who comes off with a large ego, overconfidence, and arrogance. Inside, they likely lack self-esteem and have a feeling of inadequacy.
3 Deep Insecurities We Have
Although insecurity can make their way to you in countless ways, the most common ones are :
- Relationship insecurity
- Body image insecurity
- Social insecurity
Relationship Insecurity
Commonly, people with neglected childhood affects them later in life. When parents aren’t reliable or supportive enough, the child feels insecure, distressed and develops the feeling of negative opinion about himself. This feeling haunts them later, and some never recover from it.
It doesn’t necessarily start at an early age. It can get triggered in later stages of life as well.
When a person keeps his walls high and shows an unwillingness to seem vulnerable or trust even the closest to them, it can negatively impact your relationship. As a result, you are forever trapped between the walls of insecurity that you built.
Social Insecurity
Social insecurity is mainly the result of you having mixed feelings about yourself. You show a lack of faith, confidence, and trust in your ability to perform a task or any action involving social interaction.
This type of insecurity often leads to social anxiety, where u are constantly worried about being made a fool out of, like worrying about your appearance, or that you don’t say anything dumb or inappropriate to embarrass yourself.
It can also be the case when you don’t get a joke or totally grasp the conversation. That makes you feel insecure about your ability to interact and understand.
Body Image Insecurity
Body image is a common source of insecurity. A lot of people are conscious about their bodies and the way they look because they have this constant feeling in their minds that people’s opinions matter the most. People of all body size experience this insecurity because the problem isn’t with the body; it’s with the way they think.
Some feel insecure based on others’ feelings, while others develop this feeling of self-hate and devalue themselves based on their mentality.
3 Powerful Ways to Overcome Deep Insecurities
The problem with insecurities is that if you don’t address them, they continue to expand. You cannot just leave them be and hope for them to end someday. You have to work on it. Luckily there are ways you can get rid of them, and I am sharing three of the most effective ways to deal with insecurities.
Self-Realization
We constantly notice our bodies and hence are very vulnerable to feeling insecure about them. But, there is something you must realize that your body isn’t everything. As C.S Lewis said, “you don’t have a soul, you are the soul, and you have a body.”
So why are we so concerned about something that is merely a vessel? You should not let your body define who you are and what you are capable of. That doesn’t mean you neglect it completely, but that also doesn’t mean that your body gets to decide who you are. So instead of worrying about your body, work on your soul.
What you hear and read informs your opinion on what you should be, so Stop caring so much about the standards society imposes on people and follow people that admire you, and that can help your feel good about yourself. Think of yourself and try to love who you are. When you start to realize that your body is just a physical element and that you are more than just your body, you will stop worrying about it soo much.
Changing Your Perspective
The majority of the time, your deep insecurities come from you thinking negatively about yourself. That’s when you are your own biggest enemy. The voice inside your head is constantly criticizing your abilities and is consuming you. What to do about it? What you have to do is to communicate with your inner voice, your inner critic. Think of it as a signal that that voice inside you is trying to show you what you might need to improve.
Now when you are in a situation where you are feeling insecure, and the loudness of your inner voice is clouding your mind, don’t make a decision then and there. Listen to your voice, try to understand it, think if you want to do that certain something or not, do your research, and then make a decision. Congratulations, you just made allies with your biggest enemy.
Self-awareness
A recent survey found out that roughly 50 percent of the women and 59 percent of the men were able to overcome deep insecurities when they fully came to love and accept themselves. Confidence is the feeling of self-assurance and a method of self-appreciation that goes a long way.
When was the last time you felt confident? When was the last time you appreciated your abilities and qualities? Get a pen and a piece of paper and write down your abilities and the qualities that you can think of. Once you have written them, reflect on them and try to appreciate them. After that, try to practice them more. Once you do that, You will know that there is value in your existence, that you can make a positive impact on others’ lives by using your abilities and qualities.
This approach will help you to understand your self-worth and practice self-love. When you do so, You will find it easier to accept, respect, and love yourself.
If you liked this article, check out another on seven ways to build mental strength.
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