Nate Dukes (@whoisnatedukes) is an Author and Motivational Speaker. He sits down with John R. Miles to talk about the you will never change syndrome that is plaguing so many people today.
There’s something beautiful about being at the bottom because you get this opportunity to now build your life back brick by brick.
Nate Dukes
What We Discuss With Nate Dukes About You Will Never Change Syndrome:
- What Nate Dukes learned through stealing a car and getting sent to jail.
- The reason selfish people ruin the world. Why selfless people have the potential to change the world.
- Why Nate thought his life was too messed up to change and the choice he finally made to make the change.
- Why the hardest four letter word any of us are going to hear is wait. And so this is something that we have to be willing to commit to over a long period of time.
- How he is helping other people who feel stuck because they feel like their lives are too messy they will never change.
- What it means to be a visionary arsonist and how many of us arson our own hopes and dreams.
- And much more…
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More About This Show On You Will Never Change With Nate Dukes
You Will Never Change. I bet you’ve heard that line before. From friends? Family? Maybe you’ve said it to yourself. Regardless of the source, it hurts to hear. But it hurts even worse when you agree.
Nate Dukes knew what his life looks like when he made the wrong decisions. He believes that often people get stuck in their conditions. But he thinks we all should look at this from a different perspective. What would ten years of your life look like, of making the right decisions? Ten years from now your life could look completely different. As long as you stay on this path. See who he was is not who he is now. And if you’re looking to change, there’s something beautiful about being at the bottom, because you get this opportunity to now build your life back brick by brick.
As Nate recounts, “If information changed people, we would all be skinny and rich, right. And so it’s not the information that changes anybody. It’s the actions that we take behind the information. And so whenever I start to coach people, I tell them, if you’re gonna start to take actions to change your life, you need to know why and what you’re changing your life to look like. And so this is why it’s so important to have a very clear vision for your life. And I’m talking about like, very specific because if not, you will never change.
And when you start to ask people, hey, what do you want your life to look like? Usually, they give you a generic answer. And it’s probably because they haven’t thought about it ever before. But they say things like, I just want to be happy. I just want my kids to be taken care of, I just want my bills to be paid. And while all those things are altruistic, they feel great. Those are wonderful. We all want that to happen. It’s nowhere near specific enough of what we actually need to move towards. It’s just way too generic.
And because here’s the question, What does happiness look like to you is how many is too You might be happy to look different to me. And so I start to ask people questions like, Well, what do you want your legacy to be? What do you want people to say about you when you leave a room? I mean, let’s get super-specific.
How much money do you want to make? What kind of car do you want to drive? What do you want your interpersonal relationships to feel like do you want them to be draining or do you want them to be life, giving What kind of impact do you want to make in others’ life? What does fulfillment mean to you? And so once we start to craft this vision that is very specific. Now we have to add in our decision. So you have a vision for your life, and you start to add in decisions.
And this is the part where people start to get tripped up. It’s like, okay, so I want to change my life, I get inspired, I read something I’m, I’m jazzed up.
Contrary to popular belief, what we do every single day matters. Our decisions at any given point in time can determine our destiny, I want you to think about your life right now, what city you live in, what relationship you have, what career you’ve chosen, all of them were based on, not one single decision, but multiple decisions that led you to this point. Now, I don’t want us to buy into the fact that we should have known what the right or wrong decision should have been.
But I want us to understand the power of our decisions, the actions that we take, because a little work over a long period of time, can make a massive change in our life.
And so once you have your vision, you add in your decisions. Now here’s the hardest part. And I wish that I had a hack, or I wish I had a code or something that I could give people to make this work better. But I don’t it’s the hardest part of this is you have to multiply all of it. It’s time. The hardest four-letter word any of us are going to hear is wait. And so this is something that we have to be willing to commit to over a long period of time.”
Listen to this episode on you will never change syndrome in its entirety to learn more about the effectiveness of leadership and perseverance.
Thanks, Nate Dukes!
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Nate Dukes Show Notes
- 0:00 Nate Dukes teaser
- 1:13 Show Intro
- 3:44 Why Nate thought his life was too messed up to change
- 16:15 How to break free of the wrong environment for us to thrive
- 21:35 Why it is so difficult to action and why waiting is the hardest part
- 28:08 How he is helping people who feel stuck
- 34:19 The difference between jail and being in prison
- 38:00 How you build your life back brick by brick
- 42:22 His advice on overcoming a drug addiction
- 45:10 What it means to be a visionary arsonist and its correlation to the you will never change syndrome
- 49:36 What topic he would do a commencement speech on
Links
Website – https://www.youllneverchange.com
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/whoisnatedukes/
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/whoisnatedukes/
Order Book on Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/dp/057888996X
Be a part of someone else’s comeback story and “Pay It Forward” – https://www.youllneverchange.com/payitforward
About This Episode’s Guest Nate Dukes
Nate Dukes is an Author and Speaker, but in his early twenties, he was a business owner chasing success while dealing with secret drug addiction. After constantly hitting rock bottom, hurting everyone close, stealing a car, and going to jail, Nate went on a journey to change his mindset and decisions, which helped him create his own comeback story. He quickly found that there were other people, just like him, who were stuck believing the lie that they’d never change. Through his book, onstage speaking, and personal coaching, Nate shares what he’s learned to help others make their comeback.
ENGAGE WITH JOHN R. MILES
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