Unlocking Self-Leadership: Inner Work and the R.A.R.E. Method

In this special episode, I’m inviting you into the quiet but transformative space where real change begins—not with hustle or achievement, but with radical honesty. Unlocking Self-Leadership is about doing the inner work that most people avoid—because it’s hard, it’s confronting, and it doesn’t come with a gold star. But it’s also the key to leading with clarity, showing up with authenticity, and living from a place of deep alignment.

I walk you through the emotional terrain of self-awareness and introduce the R.A.R.E. Method—a four-step practice to help you recognize your patterns, confront your shadow, and choose new responses in real time. If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same emotional loops or wondered why your outer world keeps reflecting your inner chaos, this episode is for you.

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The episode gives you the insight.
The Ignited Life gives you the tools.

This week, subscribers get exclusive access to:

The Becoming Workbook

• To help you take action on this episode, download the Becoming Workbook. This companion tool includes:
• A personal alignment compass to stay on course
• A 7-day microshift tracker
• Daily prompts to build identity-based habits
• Reflection tools for breaking emotional loops

In case you didn’t already know, John R. Miles (@John_R_Miles) takes your comments and questions for Momentum Friday right here every week! If you want him to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Momentum Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now, let’s dive in!

“The more self-aware you become, the more emotionally safe you become—to your team, your partner, your kids, and yourself.”

John R. Miles

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Inner Work That Sticks: Rewiring Patterns with the R.A.R.E. Method

We talk a lot about change, but most of it never lasts. Why? Because it skips the part no one wants to do: the inner work. In this episode, I take you beneath the surface of behavior change and into the emotional roots that quietly shape your life—your reactions, your patterns, and your relationships. This isn’t about theory. It’s about the real, sometimes raw process of recognizing how your inner world creates your outer reality.

I also break down my 4-step R.A.R.E. Method, a practical tool you can use in those quiet, high-stakes moments when your old story wants to take over. If you’re ready to stop repeating the same loops—and finally shift from reaction to conscious response—this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• What “inner work” really means—and why it’s not a self-help trend, but a core leadership skill
• How to recognize emotional residue that shows up in everyday behaviors and decisions
• Why most people avoid shadow work—and how that avoidance keeps them stuck
• How the R.A.R.E. Method turns insight into action, even when you’re triggered or afraid
• The link between self-awareness and emotional safety in relationships and leadership
• Why presence—not performance—is the true mark of someone who’s done the work

Why is this a Must-Listen?

Because without doing the inner work, all outer success eventually feels hollow. If you’ve ever wondered why your growth feels stalled—or why certain patterns just won’t break—this episode will meet you where you are and offer a clear, grounded path forward. Whether you’re navigating burnout, relationships, leadership, or your own healing, what I share here can help you build a life that’s not only successful but aligned, intentional, and true.

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Mastering the R.A.R.E. Method: A Framework for Embodied Inner Work

Inner work can feel abstract—until you have a map. That’s why I created the R.A.R.E. Method: a four-step framework designed to help you turn self-awareness into real-time transformation. It’s not just about noticing your patterns—it’s about interrupting them, gently but powerfully, in the moments that matter most. Because true growth isn’t just about what you know—it’s about what you do with that knowledge when you’re triggered, anxious, or about to default to an old story.

Here’s a deeper look at how the R.A.R.E. Method works:

R — Recognize the Story

Ask yourself: “What narrative is driving me right now?”
This first step brings unconscious scripts into the light. Are you operating from fear of being judged? A belief that you must earn love to deserve it? Recognition allows you to pause before the story becomes your reaction.

A — Acknowledge the Emotion

Ask: “What am I actually feeling in this moment?”
Skip the surface answers like “fine” or “frustrated.” Get granular. Ashamed. Unseen. Powerless. Emotional clarity unlocks choice. You can’t regulate what you refuse to name.

R — Reveal the Shadow

Ask: “What part of me am I trying to hide or protect?”
This is the part that usually stays in the dark—the insecure, angry, needy, or jealous side you’d rather ignore. But acknowledging your shadow removes its grip on your behavior and brings integration instead of fragmentation.

E — Exchange the Pattern

Ask: “Now that I see what’s happening—what do I want to choose instead?”
This is the step where inner work becomes leadership. You stop defaulting. You pause, breathe, and speak or act from intention, even when it’s uncomfortable. This is how a new emotional muscle is built.

Whether you’re leading a team, navigating conflict, or simply trying to break old cycles, the R.A.R.E. Method offers a practical and compassionate path forward. It’s how we shift from performing into presence—and from unconscious reaction into deliberate response.

RESOURCES FROM THE SHOW “Unlocking Self-Leadership: Inner Work and the R.A.R.E. Method”

Please note that some of the links on this page (books, movies, music, etc.) lead to affiliate programs for which The Passion Struck podcast receives compensation. It’s just one of the ways we keep the lights on around here. Thank you so much for being so supportive!

1. Radio St. Pete: https://radiostpete.com/
2. American Psychological Association (APA) – Resources on resilience and coping: apa.org
3. Psychology Today – Articles on mental health, resilience, and personal growth: psychologytoday.com
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About John R. Miles

John R. Miles is a transformative leader, blending military precision with entrepreneurial flair to ignite purpose and intentional living in millions. A former U.S. Navy officer and Fortune 50 executive, John transitioned from the C-suite to become an international bestselling author and host of the globally acclaimed Passion Struck® podcast, which has ranked as the #1 alternative health podcast in over 25 countries.

John writes about the science of behavior change, personal mastery, and purpose-driven leadership, drawing from his extensive research in neuroscience and psychology, plus over 700 interviews with trailblazing experts. His book, Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life, has earned accolades, including Best Business Book at the 2024 International Business Awards.

With a mission to inspire others to live with passion and intention, John’s quirky blend of deep insight and approachable wisdom makes him a sought-after voice in leadership and personal development.

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