Become the You That Feels True: Tiny Shifts, Big Change
Most people think becoming who you’re meant to be requires a massive upheaval—a new job, a dramatic move, or a total reinvention. But as we explore in Episode 633 of Passion Struck, the truth is far simpler—and far more powerful.
Lasting change doesn’t start with drama. It starts with alignment.
In this solo episode, John R. Miles breaks down the science of lasting change—and how micro-decisions, anchored habits, and emotional rewiring can help you become the you that feels true. Drawing from groundbreaking research and past interviews with BJ Fogg, Katy Milkman, and Jud Brewer, John reveals how identity—not willpower—is the real engine behind transformation.
Whether you’re stuck in old behavior loops or chasing motivation that never lasts, this episode offers a new way forward. It’s not about fixing what’s broken. It’s about becoming someone you trust—one small act at a time.
Explore More Inside The Ignited Life Substack
The episode gives you the insight. The Ignited Life gives you the tools.
This week, subscribers get exclusive access to:
The Becoming Workbook
To help you take action on this episode, download the Becoming Workbook. This companion tool includes:
A personal alignment compass to stay on course
A 7-day microshift tracker
Daily prompts to build identity-based habits
Reflection tools for breaking emotional loops
In case you didn’t already know, John R. Miles (@John_R_Miles) takes your comments and questions for Momentum Friday right here every week! If you want him to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Momentum Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now, let’s dive in!
“You’re not one massive leap away from being the person you want to be. You’re one decision away. One micro-action. One fresh start you declare for yourself.”
Become the You That Feels True: The Science of Lasting Change
In a world flooded with self-help hacks, ten-step plans, and morning routines designed for peak performance, we often overlook the most important question: Is the person I’m becoming the one that feels most true to me?
“Become the You that Feels True” isn’t a slogan. It’s a call to transformation rooted not in performance, but in authenticity. And science backs this up: lasting change doesn’t come from mimicking success. It comes from aligning your actions with your identity—the one that feels real beneath the noise.
Neuroscience and behavioral psychology tell us that identity is the foundation of behavior change. Dr. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, calls this “identity-based habits.” In short: don’t just set goals—become the kind of person who lives those goals. If you want to write a book, don’t just aim for 500 words a day. See yourself as a writer. Every action you take is a vote for the kind of person you believe you are.
The real challenge? Many of us are so used to performing for others—chasing approval, status, or security—that we’ve lost touch with what feels true. That’s why change rooted in shame or comparison rarely lasts. You might force a behavior for a while, but if it contradicts your core values or self-concept, your brain will eventually resist it.
Sustainable transformation, according to self-determination theory, is fueled by three things: autonomy (the sense that your actions are self-chosen), competence (the belief that you can improve), and relatedness (the feeling of being connected to others). When your goals are aligned with these inner drives—not external pressure—you build resilience, motivation, and meaning.
To become the you that feels true, start by listening. What brings you peace? What excites you—not for applause, but for its own sake? Then, take small daily actions that affirm that truth. Don’t aim for perfection. Aim for progress toward alignment.
Because the goal isn’t to become someone better. It’s to come home to the person you were always meant to be.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
Why big change is often a myth—and how true transformation begins in silence
The Fresh Start Effect, and how you can create your own “day one”
How BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits model helps you rewire identity through small wins
The emotional habit loops that keep you stuck—and how to break them with curiosity
Why becoming > fixing, and how self-compassion creates space for change
How to design tiny shifts that build momentum toward a more congruent, intentional life
You’ll also hear powerful insights from guests like Randy Blythe, Dr. Bob Rosen, and Karen Salmansohn—real stories that illustrate how becoming isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence.
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RESOURCES FROM THE SHOW “Become the You That Feels True: Tiny Shifts, Big Change”
Please note that some of the links on this page (books, movies, music, etc.) lead to affiliate programs for which The Passion Struck podcast receives compensation. It’s just one of the ways we keep the lights on around here. Thank you so much for being so supportive!
American Psychological Association (APA) – Resources on resilience and coping: apa.org
Psychology Today – Articles on mental health, resilience, and personal growth: psychologytoday.com
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About John R. Miles
John R. Miles is a transformative leader, blending military precision with entrepreneurial flair to ignite purpose and intentional living in millions. A former U.S. Navy officer and Fortune 50 executive, John transitioned from the C-suite to become an international bestselling author and host of the globally acclaimed Passion Struck® podcast, which has ranked as the #1 alternative health podcast in over 25 countries.
John writes about the science of behavior change, personal mastery, and purpose-driven leadership, drawing from his extensive research in neuroscience and psychology, plus over 700 interviews with trailblazing experts. His book, Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life, has earned accolades, including Best Business Book at the 2024 International Business Awards.
With a mission to inspire others to live with passion and intention, John’s quirky blend of deep insight and approachable wisdom makes him a sought-after voice in leadership and personal development.
Passion Struck aspires to speak to the humanity of people in a way that makes them want to better, live better, and impact the world.
Passion Struck’s mission is to unlock the power of intentionality for the be
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