In this episode of Passion Struck, we welcome back the insightful Terri Cole, renowned author and therapist, to dive deep into the complexities of high-functioning codependency. With her latest book, Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency, Terri sheds light on the often-overlooked patterns that can lead to emotional exhaustion and relational turmoil.
Join us as we explore the traits of high-functioning codependents, the impact of societal expectations, and practical strategies to reclaim your sense of self and establish healthier boundaries. Whether you’re navigating personal relationships or professional dynamics, this conversation promises to provide valuable insights and actionable advice to help you break free from the cycle of over-giving and under-receiving.
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“When we are prioritizing the wants, needs, desires of other people over our own wellbeing, there’s something dysfunctional in that.”
terri cole
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podcast Addict, Pocket Casts, Stitcher, Castbox, Google Podcasts, Listen Notes, Amazon Music, or on your favorite podcast platform. You can watch the interview on YouTube below.
Understanding High-Functioning Codependency: Insights from Terri Cole
In this episode of Passion Struck, John R. Miles interviews renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert Terri Cole about the pervasive issue of high-functioning codependency. Terri shares her personal journey of overcoming codependency and the vital lessons sheโs learned from years of helping others break free from the need to fix and over-function in relationships. She discusses the importance of setting boundaries, the risks of self-neglect, and how to shift from over-giving to living a life of balance and self-care. With practical advice and compassionate insights, Terri helps listeners understand how they can stop people-pleasing and start showing up authentically in their lives and relationships.
- Recognize codependent behaviors: Terri explains how high-functioning codependents often look successful on the outside while ignoring their own needs and struggles.
- The power of boundaries: Learn why setting boundaries is crucial for creating healthier, more balanced relationships and personal well-being.
- Self-care as a necessity, not a luxury: Terri emphasizes how self-care is essential for long-term fulfillment and emotional health, not something to feel guilty about.
- Stop over-giving: Discover the signs that you’re giving too much to others and how to shift your focus to giving to yourself.
- How to stop fixing others: Terri explains why you can’t heal or fix anyone else, and how letting go of that mindset frees you to live authentically.
- Steps to reclaim your life: Terri provides actionable strategies for breaking the cycle of codependency and creating a life centered around your own needs and desires.
WHY IS THIS A MUST-LISTEN?
This episode is essential for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the demands of others or struggles with the need to be the caretaker in their relationships. Terri Cole’s insights provide a fresh perspective on codependency, encouraging listeners to reflect on their behaviors and make meaningful changes. By sharing relatable stories and practical strategies, the episode empowers individuals to prioritize their own well-being while fostering healthier connections with those around them. Whether you’re a high achiever or simply seeking to improve your relationships, this conversation offers valuable tools for personal transformation.
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3 Key Concepts to Break Free from Codependency: Self-Consideration, Resentment Inventory, and the ‘Let Them’ Strategy
During our enlightening discussion on the Passion Struck Podcast, expert psychotherapist and global relationship and empowerment expert Terri Cole shared three pivotal concepts that can help you break free from high-functioning codependency. These principles are vital for anyone seeking healthier relationships and a more balanced life. Here’s what Terri revealed during the interview:
1. Self-Consideration as the New Self-Care
Terri emphasized the importance of shifting from traditional self-care to self-consideration. While self-care practices like exercise, healthy eating, and meditation are essential, self-consideration goes a step further. It means truly acknowledging your own needs, feelings, and limits in every situation. Terri explained that high-functioning codependents often prioritize the needs of others over their own, leading to burnout and resentment. By embracing self-consideration, we can begin to recalibrate our energy and attention, ensuring we are nurturing ourselves in the same way we care for others.
2. The Power of a Resentment Inventory
One of the standout techniques Terri shared is the concept of a resentment inventory. This tool is a game-changer for recognizing the patterns in our lives where we might be over-giving or suppressing our own needs. Terri explained that by regularly taking stock of where resentment shows up, we can better understand the root causesโwhether it’s overcommitting, people-pleasing, or setting ineffective boundaries. The inventory helps us reflect on where we need to make changes in our relationships or responsibilities, so we can avoid building up resentment and ultimately damaging connections with others.
3. The ‘Let Them’ Strategy
Terri also introduced a transformative concept she calls the ‘Let Them’ strategy. This approach is about releasing control and allowing others to make their own choicesโeven when those choices may not align with what we want. She explained that high-functioning codependents often struggle with letting go, and feeling responsible for others’ actions and emotions. The ‘Let Them’ strategy helps us step back and respect others’ autonomy, which in turn frees us from the burden of fixing or managing situations that are not ours to control. This approach fosters healthier, more respectful dynamics in relationships and allows us to focus on our own growth and well-being.
Throughout the conversation, Terri Cole shared practical strategies from her book Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency. Her wisdom offers invaluable tools for reclaiming balance, setting boundaries, and building more fulfilling relationships.
THANKS, Terri Cole
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RESOURCES FROM THE SHOW WITH TERRI COLE
Please note that some of the links on this page (books, movies, music, etc.) lead to affiliate programs for which The Passion Struck podcast receives compensation. Itโs just one of the ways we keep the lights on around here. Thank you so much for being so supportive!
- Terri Cole’s Website
- Terri Cole’s Instagram
- BUY Terri Cole’s book: https://a.co/d/3ffn9U0
- Listen to Terri Coleโs podcast, The Terri Cole Show, for additional insights and guidance on personal growth and mental health.
- Passion Struck Core Value System: https://passionstruck.com/the-passion-struck-core-belief-system/
- Listen to Passion Struckโs interviews with New York Times bestselling authors Gretchen Rubin and Seth Godin.
- Check out Passion Struckโs Episode Starter Packs on Spotify or Passion Struck starter packs to get started with the podcast.
My solo episode on Bridging Divides Through Love and Kindness
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Watch my episode with Teri Cole on How to Create Healthy Boundaries & Inner Peace
Discover my interview with Amy Leigh Mercree on Master Your Aura, Master Your Life
Catch my interview with Dr. Scott Rick on Should You Marry for Love or Money
About Todayโs Guest, Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, and bestselling author of Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency. With over two decades of experience, Terri has guided individuals toward emotional freedom by helping them break free from codependent patterns, develop healthy boundaries, and create more balanced, fulfilling relationships. Her practical, no-nonsense approach empowers people to stop over-functioning, tune into their needs, and live authentically.
In addition to her private therapy practice, Terri is the host of The Terri Cole Show podcast, where she shares her insights on relationships, mental health, and personal empowerment. She has also created popular online courses and workshops, reaching a global audience seeking to improve their emotional well-being. Terri’s work has been featured in publications such as Psychology Today, Forbes, and The Huffington Post, solidifying her reputation as a leading voice in the world of personal growth and mental health.
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