Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World

What does it really mean to live a happy, meaningful life — and why do so many of us get it wrong? In this powerful episode, John is joined by Dr. Laurie Santos, the Yale professor behind The Science of Well-Being — the most popular course in Yale’s history. Laurie has captivated millions by revealing the surprising, science-backed strategies for boosting happiness and fighting the modern epidemic of disconnection.

Today, we dive deep into the concept of mattering — why feeling valued and making a difference are essential to our well-being — and how to reclaim a sense of purpose in a world that never seems to slow down. If you’ve ever felt like you’re running on autopilot or wondering if what you do truly counts, this episode is for you.

Want to learn the 12 philosophies that the most successful people use to create a limitless life? Order John R. Miles’s new book, Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life.

Like this show? Please leave us a review here – even one sentence helps! Please post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us to thank you personally!

In case you didn’t already know it, John R. Miles (@John_R_Miles) takes your comments and questions for Momentum Friday right here every week! If you want him to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Momentum Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now, let’s dive in!

Hear the secrets and philosophy of the World’s GREATEST high achievers every Tuesday and Thursday, and tune in each week for an inspirational Momentum Friday solo message.

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podcast Addict, Pocket Casts, Stitcher, Castbox, Google Podcasts, Listen Notes, Amazon Music, or on your favorite podcast platform. You can watch the interview on YouTube below.

The Science of Mattering: How to Feel Seen, Heard, and Valued with Laurie Santos

In this thought-provoking episode, Dr. Laurie Santos, host of The Happiness Lab podcast, unpacks the powerful connection between happiness and mattering. She explains how feeling like we genuinely make a difference — both in our relationships and the world around us — is a cornerstone of well-being. Laurie dives into the hidden forces that fuel disconnection, from technology’s double-edged sword to the subtle ways we dehumanize others, and offers practical strategies for cultivating gratitude, fostering meaningful relationships, and breaking free from the cycle of busyness. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling invisible or questioned whether your actions truly count, Laurie’s insights will inspire you to rethink what it means to live a fulfilling life.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode With Laurie Santos:

• Why mattering matters: How the feeling of being valued and adding value shapes our overall happiness.
• The disease of disconnection: How modern life quietly isolates us — and what we can do to bridge the gap.
• Technology’s role in relationships: The surprising ways social media both connects and distances us.
• The transformative power of gratitude: How simple acts of thankfulness can strengthen bonds and boost well-being.
• From busy to purposeful: Why “effortless perfection” and the pressure to always appear fine are holding us back.
• Practical steps to feel more connected: Actionable advice for creating more meaning and mattering in everyday life.

WHY IS THIS EPISODE WITH LAURIE SANTOS A MUST-LISTEN?

This episode goes beyond generic happiness advice — it tackles the deeper question of how to matter in a world that often feels rushed and disconnected. Laurie Santos offers science-backed tools to help you feel seen and heard while encouraging you to recognize the impact you have on those around you. Whether you’re battling feelings of invisibility or simply want to live with more intention, this conversation will push you to rethink how you measure your worth and purpose.

PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FEATURED RESOURCES

Thank You, BIOptimizers, For Sponsoring

This November, BIOptimizers is offering an exclusive Black Friday BLOWOUT! Get discounts on all their amazing products—including Magnesium Breakthrough—plus up to $100 in free gifts. Don’t miss out! Visit https://bioptimizers.com/passion to shop now

Thank You, Hims, For Sponsoring

Hims: Regrow your hair before it’s too late! Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/PASSIONSTRUCK.

Thank You, Mint Mobile, For Sponsoring

Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at “MINT MOBILE dot com slash PASSION.”

Thank You, Rosetta Stone, For Sponsoring

Unlock 25 languages for life at “ROSETTASTONE.com/passionstruck.”

Thank You, Prolon, For Sponsoring

Reset your health with 15% off at “ProlonLife.com/passionstruck.”

STARTER PACKS

Are you new to the show? These Starter Packs are collections of our most popular episodes grouped by topic, and we now have them on Spotify.

You can also browse starter packs for existing listeners to find your old favorites. Every week, John interviews everyday heroes from all walks of life. Learn how to subscribe to the show and never miss a new episode and topic.

Like this? Please subscribe and join me on my new YouTube platform for peak performance, life coaching, and personal mastery.

Why Mattering Is in Our DNA — and How Technology Shapes Our Connections

During this enlightening Passion Struck Podcast interview, Chandrika and Ranjan Tandon Professor of Psychology and Head of Silliman College at Yale University, Dr. Laurie Santos, explored the evolutionary roots of mattering and the complex role technology plays in both connecting and isolating us.

The Evolutionary Importance of Mattering

Dr. Laurie Santos explained that the need to matter isn’t just a modern psychological craving — it’s hardwired into our biology. From an evolutionary perspective, feeling like we are seen, valued, and contributing to those around us directly impacts our survival. Humans have always been social creatures, relying on close-knit groups for protection, food, and cooperation. Historically, being cast out or overlooked wasn’t just emotionally painful — it could be life-threatening.

Laurie emphasized that this primal need to matter fuels much of our modern behavior, even if we don’t always recognize it. When we feel invisible or undervalued, our brains interpret it as a form of social rejection, triggering stress responses similar to physical pain. This deep connection between mattering and well-being means that fostering a sense of value — both in ourselves and in others — isn’t just about boosting self-esteem; it’s about maintaining our mental and emotional health.

The key takeaway Laurie shared is this: mattering isn’t just about grand accomplishments — it’s about recognizing the small, everyday ways we impact others. Whether it’s a kind word, an act of empathy, or simply showing up for someone, these moments reinforce our evolutionary need to feel connected and significant.

The Role of Technology in Connecting and Disconnecting Us

Laurie also tackled the double-edged sword of technology, highlighting how it simultaneously brings us closer and drives us apart. On the one hand, modern technology offers unprecedented opportunities for connection — allowing us to stay in touch with distant friends, share ideas instantly, and build online communities.

However, Laurie cautioned that these virtual interactions often lack the depth and emotional resonance of face-to-face communication. Social media, in particular, can create an illusion of connectedness while reinforcing feelings of disconnection. She described how scrolling through curated highlight reels of others’ lives can leave us feeling like we’re on the outside looking in — perpetuating the sense that we don’t truly matter.

What’s more, Laurie pointed out the phenomenon of “ambient presence” — the idea that while technology keeps us passively aware of others’ lives (through likes, comments, and updates), it often falls short of fostering the kind of meaningful, vulnerable interactions that satisfy our evolutionary craving for mattering.

Her advice? Use technology intentionally. Rather than passively consuming content or engaging in surface-level interactions, Laurie encouraged listeners to harness technology as a tool for deeper connection — scheduling video calls, sending heartfelt messages, or using apps to coordinate in-person meetups.

Ultimately, Laurie’s insights underscored a powerful truth: while technology can expand our reach, true mattering happens in moments of genuine human connection — whether that’s online or face-to-face. By balancing digital convenience with authentic presence, we can reclaim our sense of significance and strengthen the bonds that make life meaningful.

THANKS, DR. LAURIE SANTOS

If you enjoyed this interview with Dr. Laurie Santos, let her know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout on Instagram

Click here to show Dr. Santos your thoughts about today’s episode on Instagram

Click here to let John R. Miles know about your number one takeaway from this episode!

If you want us to answer your questions or you want John to discuss a topic on one of our upcoming Momentum Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected].

RESOURCES FROM THE SHOW WITH LAURIE SANTOS

Please note that some of the links on this page (books, movies, music, etc.) lead to affiliate programs for which The Passion Struck podcast receives compensation. It’s just one of the ways we keep the lights on around here. Thank you so much for being so supportive!

1. Dr. Laurie Santos’ Website
2. Dr. Laurie Santos’ Instagram
3. Dr. Laurie Santos’ Youtube Channel
4. Listen to Dr. Laurie Santos’ Podcast ‘The Happiness Lab’
5. Passion Struck Core Value System: https://passionstruck.com/the-passion-struck-core-belief-system/
6. Listen to Passion Struck’s interviews with New York Times bestselling authors Gretchen Rubin and Seth Godin.
7. Check out Passion Struck’s Episode Starter Packs on Spotify or Passion Struck starter packs to get started with the podcast.

My solo episode on The Science of Healthy Habits

My episode with Arthur C. Brooks on Finding Success, Happiness, and Purpose

Can’t miss my episode with Robert Waldinger on What Are the Keys to Living a Good Life

Catch my interview with Susan Cain on What is the Happiness of Being Bittersweet

Listen to my solo epísode on Why Happiness Leads to Success: 3 Lessons from Richard Branson

About Today’s Guest, Laurie Santos

Laurie Santos is the Chandrika and Ranjan Tandon Professor of Psychology and Head of Silliman College at Yale University. She is best known for teaching Psychology and the Good Life, Yale’s most popular course in history, which explores the science of happiness and how to apply evidence-based strategies to live a more fulfilling life.

Laurie is also the host of The Happiness Lab podcast, where she translates cutting-edge psychological research into practical advice for improving well-being. Her work focuses on the science of happiness, the evolutionary origins of human behavior, and how we can combat modern challenges like disconnection, loneliness, and the pursuit of “effortless perfection.” Laurie’s insights have inspired millions worldwide, empowering people to prioritize what truly matters and embrace intentional living.

Follow John R. Miles On Social

* Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr

* Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnrmiles.c0m

* Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​

* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_milesacks for existing listeners to find your old favorites. Every week, John interviews everyday heroes from all walks of life. Learn how to subscribe to the show and never miss a new episode and topic.

* Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck/

Learn more about me: https://johnrmiles.com.

Passion Struck aspires to speak to the humanity of people in a way that makes them want to better, live better, and impact the world.

Passion Struck’s mission is to unlock the power of intentionality for the benefit of us all. To create a world where we live better, be better, and impact the world through our unique and powerful content.